I am not...

I am not stupid.

I am not controlling.

I am not trying to become number 1.

I am not all those things you accuse me of being.

I am not interested. Anymore. I think.

I am tired. And sick.

Is it supposed to be this difficult? My fountain of wisdom and pillar of strength aka Deena says, that if you're happy about 60% of the time, you've got it made... But I want more, I need more than just 60%. If I see even a little good in someone, that special something, must I tolerate their 'bad's', forgive them for their mistakes, especially when they feel its necessary to hurt me? I'm not perfect myself but if I don't look out for myself, who else will? He will, I know. This is just one of my many crosses which I must bear, which I will for Him.

I'm just being whiny 'cos hacking up bits of my lungs isn't my idea of fun. Tomorrow will be a better day, its a holiday after all...