Something funny

This is really so bad, but its so darn good too... Thanks IP :-)

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish................................49.
Adventurous......................Slept with everyone.
Athletic..............................No breasts.
Average looking.................Moooo.
Beautiful.............................Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure.............On medication.
Feminist..............................Fat.
Free spirit...........................Junkie.
Friendship first....................Former slut.
New-Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned.....................No BJs.
Open-minded......................Desperate.
Outgoing.............................Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional.........................Bitch.
Voluptuous..........................Very Fat.
Large frame.........................Hugely Fat.
Wants Soul mate..................Stalker.